How To Know if Someone is Lying To You?
We all are fascinated by the ability of mentalist to read other’s mind accurately. There are scientific techniques in detecting lies too. Yet, in our normal life, we fail to notice the lies and unaware of the real truth behind the scenes. Sometimes we become susceptible to the fraudsters or unable to see the real facts behind the words of our intimate ones.
Everyone is unique and has distinctive character traits. They exhibit a different level of responses to different emotions. Anyhow, there are some universal traits that are common to everyone irrespective of habits, customs, and ethnicity. It is universal that lying causes some discomforts to the person. It will be expressed as the certain physical gestures, facial features, body language, and micro gestures.
If you are emotionally intelligent, you can detect the lies approximately with better accuracy. Even the polygraph accuracy is below 80 percent. (Read also 7 Most Effective Mind Control Technique Tips in NLP)
How to Detect Lies?
Detecting lies is not an easy task but it becomes handy with the experience. You can detect lies more accurately if the victim is your intimate. In the case of the strangers, you have to understand their base character traits and have to build a rapport to clearly read their mind.
Here, I have only included the lie detecting tips that are having accuracy above 60 percent.
1. Touching face and mouth with hands: This is the common character traits of a child when lying. It can be noticed as touching the face or covering the mouth with the hand.
2. Less physical contact: If a person is lying to you then he/she will have less physical contact with you than in normal circumstances. They become more reserved.
3. Delayed nodding of the head: If a person is telling a statement, that is a lie, then he will nod his head after the statement. Saying the statement and nodding of the head becomes out of sync. Usually, when the statement is right these two factors are simultaneous.
4. The timing of expression changes: The expression becomes artificial. The symmetry will be lost as more stress is experienced in certain muscles. We can notice the fake smile for a long time in that person. A genuine smile takes place involving all facial features. The fake smile is confined with the lip and cheek muscles and can be easily distinguished.
5) The blinking rate of eye increases or decreases: The subconscious mind deceives us that closing eyes make as secure. This can be noticed as some people close their eyes when encountering dreadful situations. Similarly, if a person is lying his blinking rate will increase 2 – 3 times in 10 seconds making the eye closed more often. Ordinary people in normal situations blink for 6 – 8 times in a minute. Some people blink less to feel confident with what they have said. If there is a change in the normal blinking rate despite health problems, there is a deception involved.
6) Less usage of physical gestures: Normally, when a person talks he would be naturally using the physical gestures along with the speech. The lack of this behavior is a plausible trait of lies. These physical gestures are waving the hands, moving the body, nodding the head, and authentic facial expressions according to the speech.
7) Placing some objects in between: The person’s subconscious mind believe that lying is not a right attitude and makes the person feel guilty. It is a threat to his honesty. So, such people feel secure by having a barrier between them. This character trait is expressed as keeping something such as pen, bag, etc. in between you and that person which makes them more comfortable when they lie.
8) Inconsistent physical gestures: When a person is lying their physical gestures are against their words. It means their gestures are genuine than their uttered words. For example when we ask a question and they replied with ‘no’ where they nod the head as ‘yes’.
9) Emphasize less on words: If a person unconsciously put less emphasize on certain words while talking then probably he is lying.
10) Extended or very less eye contact: Less eye contact may happen if a person is shy and not and an expert liar. If a person with higher self-esteem he will keep more eye contact than the usual. They are trying to convince the lie.
11) The stillness of the body: It depends on upon the personality of a person. Some people use to fidget, rub their fingers; rearrange their fingers, etc. in the stressful situations. Stillness can be seen in some people as it is invoked by the flight and fight response in the body. They use up less space in the surrounding while taking. They use closed body language signs.
12) Hiding palms from others: This is one of the popular signs of lying. If a person doesn’t show his palms, he is certainly holding something in his mind that he resists to reveal.
13) Pointing the feet away: When a person is sitting in front by facing towards you and conversing with you then if they shuffle the feet and align the feet pointing away from you. It means that person needs to escape from the terrifying situation.
14) Dilated pupil: The latest studies showed some inconsistencies with the eye accessing cues. However, if a person is lying his pupil tends to dilate as he becomes more attentive and vigil. This similar sign can be observed when a person is interested in something. When a person is talking to their loved ones the pupil tend to dilate which can be noticed in the early stages of lust. This is an involuntary process and impossible to control it consciously. This sign can be noticed only if there is sufficient light in the surroundings.
15) Touching the nose more often: Some people use to touch their nose more often if they feel uncomfortable with the circumstances. It is a strong sign of distress. Bill Clinton’s video is notable.
16) Rubbing the forehead stressfully: It would be the account of severe stress experienced because of lying.
17) Rubbing eyes: This is the common trait seen in men where they shield their eyes by gently rubbing as if it is itching or some dust went in.
18) Blushing of face: The stressful presence increases the temperature of the body where the blood circulation and the thermal state of the whole face get altered.
19) Grooming of hair and dress: Some people want to feel convenient by adjusting their hair, collar, hands folding, etc.
20) Having excuse on poor memory: The lies always have flaws. Telling lies require a good memory, planning and able to present it properly. Everything has to be worked out intelligently. This is not possible all the time. Sometimes it becomes difficult for the cunning fellow to unite all the related facts according to the lies and they often excuse on having low memory.
21) Not being relaxed in normal circumstances: If a person said a lie that is more concerning themselves, then they feel little tensed in normal situations. Moreover, telling the lies would require more cognitive activities to make it more truthful which makes them not to relax. This can be noticed as abnormal sweating. (Read also 8 Character Traits Mentally Strong People Avoid in Social Settings)
22) Shoulder shrug: Some people shrug their shoulder when they are negating something. It happens unconsciously when they don’t believe in their words. It is an attribute of mental deception. This is considered as the negative body language trait. It’s better to avoid in public settings.
23) Leaning backward: Usually leaning forward can be observed if a person is interested in hearing something, or saying something that they feel confident. When something is opposite of the above, they naturally lean backward.
24) Covering the throat: This behavior is noted as scratching the neck or touching their throat.
25) Responding quickly: If a lie is well prepared then they respond quickly to the question than the normal way.
26) Changing the main subject in between: Some people do not want to stay in that zone any further and they used to divert the subject to something else. They come up with irrelevant matters. They probably point to some external things in the surrounding.
27) Change in the breathing pattern: Telling evil lies would make them stressed. This disturbs the normal breathing pattern. Their pulse and heart rate increases. Their breath becomes shallow and they used to take a deep breath in between the conversation.
28) Clearing the throat: Due to rising in the adrenaline, the saliva production is decreased. This makes them feel uncomfortable in the throat.
29) Microexpressions and gestures: Our face expresses every emotion we experience in a fraction of seconds. These features are unique and make it more reliable. Popular psychologist Ekman says that the ordinary people won’t see this micro gestures. But it can be taught. (Read also 7 Things to Avoid to Become the Most Interesting Man/Women in the World)
30) Difficulty in swallowing: If a person gets stressed they feel the throats are dried due to the changes in the salivary glands. We can notice that they feel difficulty in swallowing.
31) Dried Mouth: The mouth and their lips become dry when we interrogate them. Once in ancient India, there was a popular technique of detecting lies which relied on this trait. A little hot substance will be placed in the suspect’s mouth; if the mouth gets burned then they conclude him as the culprit.
Ask no questions and you will hear no lies. – James Joyce.
32) Exaggerating the subject: In order to convince their lies, some people used to exaggerate the subject than they normally won’t do. They look excited with the matter.
33) Speech errors: The unconscious activity of mind causes these errors when they argue their lies. The will have a bad sentence structure, more grammatical errors and mispronounce some words.
34) The pitch of the sound increases from normal: It becomes obvious while talking to such people that their tone of voice is not steady and increases its pitch when they say some statements related to the lies.
35) More pause between sentences: If they are not expertise in telling lies or we ask some unexpected questions related to the lies they may have more pauses between the sentences. It is because their mind is rushing for the right thoughts and solutions that make them speak slowly and pause in between the points.
36) Inconsistencies with the said details: Telling some unavoidable truths along with the lies makes the matter inconsistent with the said details. To make one lie successful such people has to tell successive lies to support it. And, few truths cannot be denied too. This makes the whole thing inconsistent.
37) Tongue slip: Unconsciously uttering something that is related with the truth while justifying the lies.
38) Invoking more negative emotions in speech: If a person feels that telling lies is unethical and this attitude makes them experience the negative emotions at that instances. This will be expressed in their thoughts and words than their usual state.
39) Fewer 1st person pronouns: Less usage of first person pronouns (I, me) in the conversation can be observed. They structure the sentence with third person’s pronouns.
40) Fewer exclusionary words and repetitive words: When a stressful situation arises because of the lie and duly such people fails to use more resources of the brain. This becomes obvious when they use fewer exclusionary words and speech with the repetitive words and sentences.
41) Disturbed with the silence: If they spoke something related to the lie and we stopped responding to them they get disturbed. They feel that the lie was not convinced.
42) Incomplete sentences: Some people talks with the incomplete sentences when they are justifying the lies. They try to correct the words in between the sentences.
43) Lengthy phrases: It’s natural that some people unconsciously use the lengthy phrases instead of compressed alternatives. For example, in some places only a short reply as ‘No’ or ‘Yes’ is sufficient. But such people use some phrases along with the reply. They add up some words too. If they have to reply with a sentence then probably they tell ‘I did not go’ instead of ‘I didn’t go’. (Read also 12 Most Essential Skills Every Person Should Know)
Same character traits can be seen in other emotional state and looking for more signs increases the accuracy of the lie detection.
1. Telling lies – Paul Ekman.
2. A world of lies – The Global Deception Research Centre.
3. Black Book of Lie Detection – Martin Soorjoo.
4. Linguistic Analysis of Deception - fraudresearchcenter.org
5. Detecting Deception – American Psychological Association.